the last twenty-something
On some level, I’ve been looking forward to today for years. Maybe since high school. I remember being really antsy to just fast-forward through what I knew would be a tumultuous decade — Mom warned me about the mid-mid-life crisis that every twenty-something goes through (“Why?” I asked her. “Because you hit 18 and think you’ve got it all figured out. Then over the next few years, you realize just how much you don’t know.” SO. TRUE.); I remembered stories of Dad’s youth that I wasn’t too excited to follow (fall in love? run away!); I watched my brother struggle through his twenties (and early thirties) with the hardest of life’s multitudes.
Plus the stories from friends. It’s like people became adults and gained an inherent freedom with that, but it was tossed together with a certain recklessness (Calling Captain Obvious). That combo creates all kindsa opportunities for bad decisions and what some call youthful indiscretion. It seemed like people I knew in their 30s had less of that reckless feeling about them. (Little did I know how much I would enjoy some parts of my own excitement-filled third decade; or how much I would be saddened by other parts of it.)
On some different level, I’m probably a tiny bit terrified. I mean, 30 = Adult. At least it did to me as a kid. That means this is my last year as a kid, or at least as a Non-Adult. It seems a bit silly now, but I still kinda feel like that. I’m sure when I actually hit 30 next year it won’t seem that way — it will be like any other “monumental” birthday wherein I remember how slow and gradual growth and change usually are and I will again notice that the 27th of January can feel like any old day of the year.
But today? Today feels special. Maybe because I’ve been creating change in my life over the past half-year; maybe it’s because I talk to a counselor once a week now; hell, maybe it’s just because I took the day off from work. Doesn’t really matter — it just feels good to have this day for myself.
Today I begin the final year of my twenties.
2 comments bessd | Uncategorized
enjoy the eff outta that ish! happy bee day!
i try to take the day off for my birthday whenever possible. it’s my favorite holiday.