nic poke
Probably because I was a secret nerd, I’ve researched every drug I’ve ever taken*. The recreational ones, the prescribed ones, the OTC ones. I wanted to know what was going to happen in my brain (and body, I guess) before deciding if I want said chemical reaction to take place inside my skull. That sounds really dramatic, like the chemicals in the drugs are going to fizz and pop and explode on contact with my gray matter. But it only feels that way when you’re on drugs because of the teeny tiny (but sometimes numerous) changes going on in your head. They’re microscopic, these changes the drugs cause. And, the reason different drugs give you different highs is because they act on your brain in different ways due to each unique chemical makeup. Most people probably know that.
I’m obsessing over Nicotine at the moment. What does Nic do? Nic a) makes you feel good by hitting up specific feel-good receptors in the brain; and b) talks your body into making more of these specific feel-good receptors for it. Selfish asshole. All so you can ingest more. And you will, because your brains’ feel-good receptors are there to recept something — that is, they want you to ingest the Nic and fill them up, they need you to (that’s what makes it addiction).
So, I’ve got bags of candy, chocolate, a 30-day herbal cleanse that’s similar to what I tried last time (4 or 5 years back), lotsa water and green tea, and an appointment tomorrow eve with that community acupuncture place Bailee told me about. Oh, and a fantastic man who is also quitting (I say he was never a real smoker, but I’m sure it’s taking some effort). Most of all though, he’s being my main support — and figuring out what that takes because gods knows I haven’t been able to tell him.
*OK, a few got into my system before I knew much about the parts they played in affecting my neurological system: caffeine, nicotine, alcohol.
