littleghettoblaster

Dear germs,

Now, I know you feel the need to come visit every now and again. I get that. You travel a lot and my body seems to be a comfortable place for you to pass through a couple times a year. And when the visits are short-lived and not too instrusive, it’s ok. I deal. I usually need a day of rest by the time you show up. Luckily, you have the common sense to only stick around for a day or so. I’m not the nicest host, and I try to make your stay an unpleasant as possible so you’ll move on to your next rendezvous point. But this time you’ve crossed a line.

First, you attack my throat and force my body to react by covering my tonsils in little white patches. Or maybe they’re more like sacs. Either way, pus-like stuff in my throat is going overboard. Then, for some reason, you decide that you like it here and no matter what I do I cannot get you to leave. I try to flush you out with juice and water. No dice. I try, alternately, to overfeed you and then starve you. Again, not working.

Now you’ve decided you want a name. Well, you have two choices: strep or mono. Although now you seemed to have climbed up into my ears to create an ear infection. Makes me think you’re strep trying to hide from those antibiotics that the nice doctor lady gave me; and maybe you wanna be like Prince and just change your name every so often. If you were mono though, you would be tough enough to withstand that nonsense.

Whatever. Either way, strep or mono, I’ve got a deal for you. You are going to leave my body now. Call it an exorcism, if you want. Call it being cast into exile. I don’t care, just get out. This is the second time you and your kind have visited me since 2007 started (that’s less than 3 months. RUDE.), and you have overstayed your welcome.

Please feel free to clean up after yourselves when y’all leave, too. It shouldn’t be MY job to clear all that phlegm outta my system.

Sincerely,

One Pissed-Off In-Pain Host-To-Germs

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